


cry for me

by lvlyhyuka



Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst, Dark, M/M, Obsessive Behavior, Post-Break Up, beomkai are only mentioned, inspired by a twice song
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-14
Updated: 2020-12-14
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:47:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,763
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28064178
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lvlyhyuka/pseuds/lvlyhyuka
Summary: in which choi soobin and choi yeonjun broke up a month ago, and all yeonjun wishes soobin would do is cry for him.
Relationships: Choi Soobin/Choi Yeonjun
Comments: 9
Kudos: 24





	cry for me

**Author's Note:**

> don’t like, don’t read <3
> 
> lyrics translated into english by zaty farhani on yt, so sorry if there’s a wrong translation somewhere. i changed and skipped some of the lyrics, too, btw

_i know that there’s no way to fix this_

_“will you ever stop crying over him?”_

_“god damn it, just get over him already.”_

_“stop wasting your tears over him.”_

_“he’s not worth it.”_

“he’s worth it in _my_ eyes,” yeonjun would always say whenever someone would dare tell him that soobin, his ex-boyfriend, isn’t worth crying over. “i love him still. i-i know this will never stop, and…i’m okay with that.”

_however, you and i are different from her_

“hyung…are you okay?”

yeonjun stares at soobin’s new post on insta with dreadful eyes. soobin’s post contains him and a beautiful blonde-haired girl half his height. he has his arms around her, and she has her arm around her neck. yeonjun doesn’t need to be a fool to know that this blondie is soobin’s new girl.

“i-i’m fine.” yeonjun finally replies to taehyun’s question. “i-i know soobin and i were different. h-he looks at me with more love in his eyes than he’ll ever do to someone else.”

well, that’s what yeonjun tells himself to feel better.

_i have no thought of letting you go_

although soobin has a new girl—natalie, as yeonjun learned what her name was yesterday—yeonjun knows he loves soobin too much. too much for yeonjun to let soobin go.

since soobin already found a new love, it’s time for yeonjun to do the same.

hence why they broke up almost a month ago. 

still, yeonjun doesn’t think about ever letting soobin go, not whilst he’s still alive.

_you don’t know me, i’ll never hear your hatred_

even though soobin and yeonjun dated for almost a whole year, soobin never really got to know that yeonjun too well. yeonjun was too discreet for soobin’s good, and to be honest, soobin never found the urge in him to care enough. as long as he had someone to be in a relationship with, that’s all he cared about.

despite all this, though, soobin knows yeonjun is lurking around him and natalie. soobin _hates_ yeonjun for it. can’t he, for once, be happy for soobin? i mean, it’s not like soobin was ever happy for yeonjun, but at least he didn’t act like a freaking stalker toward him.

sometimes, soobin regrets ever dating yeonjun.

_rather than this star, i just send an innocent smile, i want to be held in your embrace_

unfortunately, soobin and yeonjun still go to the same school together. since yeonjun is a year older than soobin, he’s going to be graduating first. and maybe that’s a good thing. maybe yeonjun will find his real true love once he goes out into the real world.

or maybe not, knowing his heart is meant for soobin, and soobin only.

since they go to the same school, soobin and yeonjun occasionally see each other. they take the same classes, but not at the same time for a few of them. when they _do_ have the same class, they don’t walk together. soobin has his new girl, and yeonjun has nobody again. but when soobin isn’t with natalie, he and yeonjun occasionally lock eyes, and all yeonjun can do at the moment is send soobin an innocent smile. soobin sends a small one back, before picking up his pace to be away from yeonjun.

all the brown-haired male wishes he can do, though, is be held in soobin’s embrace for at least one more time.

_i pretend not to know anything_

although soobin doesn’t know yeonjun that well, yeonjun knows soobin by the back of his hand. he knows soobin will be pissed if he finds out why yeonjun is always lurking around him and natalie. 

(not like yeonjun can help it, though.)

yeonjun tries to be as subtle as possible, even though soobin already knows what he’s trying to do.

_i’ll be by your side_ _  
__and in the end break your heart_

there are two reasons soobin and yeonjun got together: one, soobin was lonely, and two, yeonjun had the balls to confess to soobin, and since the raven-haired male would’ve felt bad if he rejected yeonjun, he accepted the brunette’s feelings. they became a couple. once their relationship was a week old, yeonjun finally realized what soobin’s true intentions were: to have a partner, _only_ so he wouldn't be alone. and honestly? yeonjun didn’t mind. well, that’s what he thought.

he didn’t like the way soobin barely hanged out with him. he didn’t like when soobin barely paid attention to him. he didn’t like it when soobin wouldn’t think about yeonjun’s feelings. the two barely kissed, barely made any physical contact, which broke yeonjun. all he wanted was love from soobin, but the younger only gave him heartbreak after heartbreak.

yeonjun just wishes he can finally be the one breaking soobin’s heart.

_i want you to cry, cry for me, just like how i cried, cry for me_

unsurprisingly, soobin was the one who broke it off between him and yeonjun. eventually, soobin got bored with yeonjun and decided to break up with him. yeonjun was the only one hurt when they did. he cried for _weeks_ , and even his best friend who he has known forever could not bring his mood up. yeonjun felt like a broken piece of glass, and what broke his heart, even more, was when he realized he was the only one with a broken heart between him and soobin.

which meant soobin never cried for him, and oh, how yeonjun wishes soobin could cry for him now.

_make you rain fall, cry for me but again_

yeonjun can just _imagine_ the tears rolling down soobin’s face if he ever cared enough. yeonjun can imagine the _pure sadness_ in soobin’s eyes, the regret and sorrow in them as he begs yeonjun for forgiveness. those sad dull eyes that yeonjun would always notice when soobin was with him. if yeonjun was a psycho, he would make soobin cry a river of tears, but fortunately, yeonjun isn’t like that. he _isn’t_ a psycho, and would never hold soobin captive until he cries for him.

well, that’s what taehyun always tells yeonjun, and the brunette believes him.

but taehyun is _wrong_ about yeonjun, because the brunette _would_ do something psychotic like that.

_little by little, fall further in, in the face of love, my determination falters_

every day that passes, yeonjun thinks he’s slowly falling out of love with soobin. yeonjun doesn’t care about soobin’s relationship with natalie that much anymore, and yeonjun has been staring at a certain brown-haired male who’s in his first period named hueningkai with adoration. sadly, kai already has a partner, so yeonjun can’t get with him. which brings me to my second point: yeonjun is still in love with choi soobin.

shouldn’t he cry for yeonjun at least once?

_i don’t know, a man like you, don’t know how to hate you_

is it even possible to hate choi soobin?

choi soobin who has shining doe eyes, choi soobin who has a kind of heart, choi soobin with his tall figure, but extremely soft? is it possible?

even though soobin was cold and depressed in his and yeonjun’s relationship, that was only an act. yeonjun knows soobin isn’t really like that, and in fact, has one of the warmest hearts out there.

so, really, is it possible to hate choi soobin?

_i keep protecting you from my friends, i’ve become an idiot_

_“hyung, this isn’t good for you.”_

_“hyung, please forget about him.”_

_“is it really worth crying over someone who broke your heart, hyung?”_

so many questions taehyun would ask yeonjun whenever the older would cry about soobin to taehyun. the younger knows how soobin acted in their old relationship, and hates soobin for that. hates soobin for breaking his poor hyung’s heart. what makes it worse is that yeonjun always defends him.

“yes, because i love him, and always will,” yeonjun would say. “if you can’t see that, tae, then i’m sorry, but i love choi soobin with all my heart, whether or not he hates me.”

_ooh, why do you keep looking at me with a smile_

it seems as if soobin doesn’t hate yeonjun anymore, because whenever they see each other, soobin always shoots yeonjun with an _adorable_ dimpled smile. the one yeonjun missed when he and soobin were dating. yeonjun doesn’t get it, though. if soobin hates him so much, why does he always smile at him when they look at each other?

did soobin’s relationship with natalie make him happier than his and yeonjun’s ever could?

_all i need is for you to cry just once_

_“can’t you cry just once?”_

soobin tilts his head in confusion, _cutely_. “huh? what do you mean by that, hyung?”

yeonjun lets out a groan. “i-it isn’t fair.”

“what’s not fair, hyung?”

yeonjun looks at soobin, who has his arms around natalie’s waist. something he never did to yeonjun. that just breaks the brunette’s heart even more. “can’t you cry _for me_ just once? i cry for you every single night, choi soobin. th-this isn’t fair!”

_cry for me, let me please forgive you, oh_

being the oblivious little bitch he is, soobin doesn’t know that yeonjun wants him to cry for him. all yeonjun can do is imagine soobin doing so, and he imagines him forgiving soobin for everything he did. it’ll never happen, though, because soobin is dumb like that, and yeonjun can only dream.

_show me, your true love_

soobin does everything for natalie. and i mean, _everything_. he even ties her fucking shoes for her. he warms her up by giving her his jacket when she's cold, he cuddles her, he holds her tightly to her chest, he kisses her, he smiles at her, he does everything he didn’t do yeonjun to natalie. it’s obvious who soobin’s true love is, but yeonjun just wishes soobin at least showed him what true love really is during their relationship.

_that thing called love is so harsh, melting even this hateful heart_

before yeonjun even knew a choi soobin existed, his heart was hateful for love. he didn’t believe in it, and didn’t like it when taehyun introduced him to his boyfriend, choi beomgyu. surprisingly, the two have been dating for almost three years now, and yeonjun is happy for them. he became happy for them when he met soobin, and when he finally started dating the younger, yeonjun wishes he wasn’t so hateful of beomgyu’s and taehyun’s relationship.

love _is_ harsh, and karma really is a bitch.

_i want it again you by my side_

ignoring what everyone tells him, yeonjun wants soobin back. soobin was rarely kind-hearted toward yeonjun, and barely showed him love, but when he did, yeonjun felt…euphoric. he envies natalie for it now, but yeonjun knows he at least got to appreciate soobin’s soft side when they were dating.

yeonjun wishes soobin could be by his side again, and be the boyfriend he is to natalie to him instead.

_i want you to cry, cry for me, even if it’s acting, do it quickly, cry for me_

yeonjun doesn’t know if soobin is good at acting or not, but whether he is or isn’t, can’t he at least _act_ as if he’s crying for yeonjun? that’s the only thing the brunette wants from him. he doesn’t even care about soobin’s and natalie’s relationship anymore, but is it really that hard to cry for someone?

maybe it is if you’re crying for someone you never truly loved.

_i want you to, i want you to, i want you to die for me_

finally, one of yeonjun’s prayers is heard. he and soobin have one of their classes together, and fortunately (for yeonjun) he and soobin are paired up for a small project together. being the gentleman he is, soobin moves to sit next to yeonjun, and smiles at him as he does.

“hi, hyung,” he greets.

“h-hi, soobin,” yeonjun returns, nervously.

“what subject you want to do the project on?” soobin asks, focusing immediately.

yeonjun knows if soobin was working with natalie, he’d play and flirt around with her instead, but forgets about it for now. “a-anything is fine. u-up to you.”

soobin nods, and he grabs the paper that has the project details to skim over them. whilst he does that, yeonjun takes the chance to stare at soobin’s side profile. it didn’t change, which brings a smile to yeonjun’s face.

_soobinnie will always be pretty in my eyes, anyway._

“how about shakespeare?” soobin suggests once he’s done. “i know a bit about him, so this should be easy.”

“o-okay,” yeonjun immediately agrees.

soobin smiles at yeonjun, which melts the brunette’s heart once he sees soobin’s dimples. the two continue to work on the project until the bell rings, indicating the end of class.

“we didn’t get to finish the project,” soobin pouts, which yeonjun finds _adorable_.

“w-why don’t we finish it at my house?” he says.

“a-are you sure, hyung?” soobin asks, slightly surprised.

yeonjun nods. “positive.”

soobin smiles. “th-then okay.”

when school is over hours later, yeonjun waits for soobin by the gates of the school. he waits for at least five minutes until he notices soobin with his girlfriend. yeonjun looks away once he sees them kissing, and mutes taehyun’s multiple texts and calls as soobin approaches him.

“hey,” he says. “ready to go?”

“yeah,” soobin replies. “sorry for taking long, hyung.”

“i-it’s okay, soobinnie,” yeonjun says.

soobin slightly tenses up at the nickname, but plasters a fake smile on his face. he follows behind yeonjun toward the older’s car, and they both get in. yeonjun starts driving them toward his house, and they arrive minutes later. they get out, and yeonjun unlocks his front door for them. since his parents are out of town, yeonjun lives alone for now, so he’s glad no one is in the house to interrupt them.

“wow, hyung, i forgot how nice your house looks,” soobin says as he takes his shoes off by the door.

 _if we were still dating, you would’ve never forgotten._ “h-heh, thanks,” he chuckles nervously. “d-do you want a drink or something?”

“juice will be nice, thanks,” soobin replies as he walks toward the couch.

yeonjun nods. he still hasn’t forgotten about soobin’s favorite juice, and always keeps a gallon in case soobin comes over. yeonjun serves him and soobin a glass, and, making sure soobin isn’t focused on yeonjun, the brunette places a powder inside soobin’s glass, before making his way back to the living room.

“h-here you go,” he says as he hands soobin his cup.

soobin smiles, grabbing it. “thanks, hyung.”

yeonjun nods, sitting next to soobin. yeonjun watches as the younger takes a sip of his glass, and yeonjun holds back a smile. he notices that soobin’s pupils widen a bit at the taste, but soobin doesn’t say anything as he places his glass down on the coffee table in front of them.

“r-ready to start?” yeonjun asks.

“yeah.”

the two work on the project for the next thirty minutes, until soobin starts feeling a bit fuzzy. his head starts pounding, but he ignores it. his stomach starts hurting, and he feels bile rise in his throat. soobin gags, clamping his hand over his mouth.

yeonjun obviously notices, so he looks at soobin. “you okay there, soobinnie?”

“i-i don’t know,” he mutters. “i-i feel fuzzy.”

yeonjun grabs soobin’s glass, and hands it to him. “drink some more juice. it’ll make you feel better.”

soobin stupidly believes yeonjun, and grabs the glass from the older. soobin gulps a bit of the juice, before handing it back to yeonjun. the brunette places it on the coffee table, and watches with an eager expression as soobin’s mouth starts letting out foam.

“w-what did you do to me, h-hyung?” he questions, slowly falling down on the couch.

“just spilled a little something in your drink,” yeonjun mumbles.

tears start spilling out of soobin’s eyes, and yeonjun sighs in relief. _finally_ , yeonjun could get soobin to cry for him. 

“h-hyung, please h-help,” soobin weakly pleads.

yeonjun ignores him. _“cry_ for me, choi soobin. just like how i cried.”

“h-hyung…”

“i want you to _die_ for me,” yeonjun continues. “just like how you would die for natalie.”

soobin’s eyes spill out more tears at the mention of natalie. he knows he might never see her again, just because he dated a psycho named choi yeonjun.

if only soobin would just cry for yeonjun, just like yeonjun did for him these past months, none of this would’ve happened.

**Author's Note:**

> title and story inspired by twice’s “cry for me” in their mama performance


End file.
